Actual questions asked of National Park Rangers

GRAND CANYON:

• Was this man made?
• Do you light it up at night?
• Is the mule train air conditioned?
• So where are the faces of the presidents?

EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK:

• Are the alligators real?
• Are the baby alligators for sale?
• Where are all the rides?
• What time does the 2 o'clock bus leave?

MESA VERDE NATIONAL PARK:

• Did people build this, or did Indians?
• Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?
• Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?
• What did they worship in the kivas - their own made up religion?
• Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

CARLSBAD CAVERNS NATIONAL PARK:

• How much of the cave is underground?
• So what's in the unexplored part of the cave?
• So what is this - just a hole in the ground?

YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK:

• Where are the cages for the animals?
• What time of year do they turn on Yosemite Falls?
• What happened to the other half of Half Dome?

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK:

• Does Old Faithful erupt at night?
• How do you turn it on?
• When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?
• We had no trouble finding the park entrance but where are the exits?

DENALI NATIONAL PARK:

• What's so wonderful about Wonder Lake?
• How much does Mount McKinley weigh?
• What time do you feed the bears?
• How often do you mow the tundra?

Goodies From Patient's Charts

She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient refused autopsy.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might want to work her up.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

The skin was moist and dry.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

Patient comment: "I am very much annoyed to find that you branded my boy illiterate as this is a dirty lie. I married a week before he was born."

Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.

The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.

Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.

The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

A True Fighter

15:51 - A True Fighter
Current mood: uncomfortable
Category: Pets and Animals

Isn't It True…

That No Physical Limitations Can Stop You
If You Have The Power To Fight Back & Overcome It…

Miniatures At Work.....Sort Of

This is really pretty cool....hope you like them!

The World Of Trees......lol

I by NO means support drug usage or even drinking but this is still kind of funny.

LSD vs ALCOHOL

CHUCK NORRIS or in MY world.......JACK BAUER (imagine JB's face instead...lol)

THE MATRIX

SPARTAAAAA!

SHROOOOOMS!!

STRIPTEASE

VIAGRA

'EGG'ceptional Work!

A steady hand, as this unknown artist positions eggs for his masterpiece.

He looks to be laying on a granite floor so no vibrations from his movement would topple the egg art.

Amazing work!
We don't know how many eggs were used to create this masterpiece.

We congratulate him and applaud his work!

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